EP54~ Love me like a Country Song

In this episode, I use songs from Lanie's country music playlist to describe how I hope to be thought of felt about by someone who loves me. I hope this musical discussion elicits  thoughts in your own mind of what it is exactly you are looking for and how you hope to be treated. 
The first song I dissect is She's Everything by Brad Paisley.  A few talking points are:

• It's nice to be appreciated for what we look like in our natural state. It's exhausting putting our best foot forward, appearance-wise all the time. 
• I want to be with someone who expects me to have a full spectrum of emotions and wants me to express both the highs and the lows.  I want to be understood.
• I want to be there for my person and make the people around me feel good and know that they are loved.
• I love BIG. I have a big heart and my feelings run deep. It's important to me that the person I'm with knows that if I'm mad, it's for good reason. The flip side is also true, I show my love loudly too.
• While I understand the ebb and flow of longterm romantic relationships, I love to be around people who dote on their significant others. 
• I mean, bubble baths and wine just make me feel all warm inside.
• Growing old with someone sounds good to me. I don't think it's ever too late.

The second country song I talk through is Billy Currington's song, Details. This song is about how this guy recognizes everything about the woman he adores. He seems to notice and pay attention to all of her attributes. I talk about how this song reminds me of a  recent dating relationship  I was in.  I felt noticed and adored but not necessarily understood. I think there's the surface level of recognizing preferences and interests and then there's the deeper level of truly understanding and balancing their flaws with their gifts. 

The third country song I discuss is Zac Brown Band, Whatever it is.  This song makes me feel flutters and fireworks. It's not a deep, sentimental song but it has a great vibe. It reminds me of when I met a guy at an event recently who kept telling me that he felt drawn to me and he couldn't explain why. Too bad he was married (See Ep53 Easy Targets).

The last song is like an inspirational theme song for me. It's The Good Ones by Gabby Barrett. We can hope for all of the checklist items, but at the end of the day, simple qualities like solid and steady sound pretty great. After years of being alone, online dating, and getting hurt, it's easy to be discouraged. It can feel like the "good ones" are all committed and the single ones aren't what we're looking for. This song gives me the feeling of hopefulness that there are good people out there.

Up Next, Ep55 RED FLAGS!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to man shopping with Stacy, where I share my real transparent dating and life experiences for your amusement and inspiration. You're listening to episode 54, love me like a country song. In this episode, I'm going to share with you how I discovered after listening to my daughter Laney's country music playlist, over and over and over the past several months, how I've come to realize I want to be loved like the subjects of country songs. I mean, not, not all country songs<laugh>, but a few, a few in particular, I'm gonna share some lyrics, tell you where I'm coming from. If you are anything like me, certain types of music, just move you and get to you and stir your soul. And I guess I've just been kind of surprised over the past few months that, uh, it's some of these old, uh, country songs that are doing it for me. Um, because it's not traditionally my go to, but in the simple, simple lyrics that I'm gonna share with you today, I think a lot can be cleaned from them. And I hope that this all strikes a chord with you two. It really shouldn't come as a surprise to me or anyone who knows me that<laugh> some of this music really resonates with me. I mean, for real, I am from the Heartland after all born and raised in a little cow town called Sedalia, Missouri, right? Small town girl. Yep. I've worked hard to get everything I've ever had. That's for sure. I've drank plenty of beer danced the night away under the stars and blue jeans and white t-shirts. Yeah. I've uh, had a dog die. I've ridden in some trucks with some muddy truck tires. I mean. Most of the guys I grew up dating to tobacco and I guess a couple of them work cowboy boots. Yeah. I've had my heart broken. Definitely been cheated on, certainly have sought out my own form of revenge here and there. Yeah. So I guess a lot of themes from country music kind of, uh, kind of makes sense to me. So I'm just going to begin by highlighting a few songs and kind of dissecting the lyrics and pointing out what I think is so special about them and how they make me realize what it is exactly that I'm looking for in a partner in regards to emotion and feelings and the way that I hope to be viewed and thought of and loved by my person someday. So it's my hope that this is fun for you as listeners. Um, hearing me have this conversation with myself, I hope that it elicits a conversation in your own mind about songs that just do it for you that give you that, you know, excited, happy, fluttering, tingling, feeling inside that maybe, um, next week or next month, or next time you pull up Bumble on your phone, uh, waiting for you will be a partner who is thoughtful and kind, and adoring and affectionate and whatever it is, um, that you're looking for, because that's kind of what these songs do for me. I think they stir up feelings of hopefulness and also remind me of the fact that I need to hold out for these things that, that, you know, I'm looking for love and I'm looking to be treated well. And that there is indeed someone out there who, um, who will feel this way about me someday. So I hope it gives you the same, the same feelings of optimism. I've gotta admit. I was just a little wee bit disappointed when I looked up some information online about the first song I'm going to talk about, which is called she's everything. And the artist is Brad Paisley. And I found out that it was actually a Nashville songwriter named will N who wrote this song about his wife, Holly, but in my mind, I think about Brad Paisley and his girl next door love of his life and a wife, Kimberly Williams, Paisley who most of us know and love from father of the bride. She was also in some other good movies like we are Marshall. Um, but yeah, so I think about the two of them and how they appear to have such a storybook life together and the lyrics. I mean, they just get to me every time. And let me tell you why, trust me, I wish that I could just play the song for you or snippets of the song, but it's against copyright law on podcast to do that. So I'm just going to have to read it to you. I will not torture you by singing it, but it starts off by saying she's a yellow pair of running shoes, a holy pair of jeans. She looks great in cheap sunglasses. She looks great in anything. Okay. So on a basic level, isn't it just nice when we meet someone and they don't care if we are in like no makeup and a ball cap or, um, you know, our sweats or our glasses, or, you know, I, I don't know about most of you women, but I, I mean, when I get home from work, I typically, I mean, let's be real. I wear scrubs a lot of days, so it's not even like I'm dressed up, but I do. I come home and I just get into my comfy. Right? Like that's what we do. Most of us, we take brass off, we get into comfortable clothes, we pull our hair back. A lot of times I take my contacts out and yeah, I mean, I think I like it when a guy appreciates that. Um, oh, natural side of me, not all done up and trying to, um, look fancier glamorous or, you know, whatever. Um, so that's just a little bit of realism that I think we all appreciate. But for most of us in the dating world where we have been spending, um, a night, a couple nights, several nights, a week, going out on initial dates, first dates, second dates, whatever. Um, over the course of time, it gets pretty exhausting putting our best foot forward appearance wise all the time. And then also feeling like it's some sort of like competitive world out there for attractiveness and like, who can we attract and exactly what kind of shape do I need to be in? Or what do I have to look like to pull that kind of guy or, or girl or whatever. So I don't, there's just a lot of comfort in, in being with someone that just likes us for who we are, if we're in a holy pair of jeans and shape sunglasses. Right. So I think that's why that first little bit, um, speaks to me. He goes on to sing. She is, I want a piece of chocolate take me to a movie she's I can't find a thing to wear. And now, and then she's moody. Mm-hmm<affirmative> and he still loves her<laugh> and I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But I, I have, I felt like more than once in marriage and in relationships because I am a typically pep, upbeat, happy person. And not just in my romantic relationships, in, in a lot of my relationships, I feel I have felt like, and still do occasionally. Like I'm not allowed to have a bad day. Oh no. Uhuh, Stacy, she's good. Like, you can always count on Stacy to have a smile on her face and, and be sweet and be in a good mood. Um, Hey, guess what?<laugh>, I'm human. Uh, I get in funks, I get down, I get sad. I get off and angry and I want to be with someone who I, I almost just said allows that, but I wanna be with someone who appreciates that, that I am a full spectrum of a person capable of all of the same emotions everybody else feels. And they don't maybe necessarily expect me to be happy, go lucky every single moment of every day, because that's not real. Right. So I think that's,<laugh>, I think that's where that kind of hits me. Um, and all that he had to say was moody apparently. And I'm like, yes, that, that I wanna be moody. I wanna be able to be moody without being told. Like I know in my second marriage, there were accusations a lot that I, um, I was, I was jealous. I was angry. I was, you know, uh, had bad intentions or whatever. And, um, I definitely, I don't, I don't wanna be thought of in that way, but I, I certainly want to be understood. Right. Isn't that something to look forward to being understood by someone, um, the next part is just freaking sweet, right? I mean, this song is old. She's a SA I don't know how many Saturns are still driving around out there, but she's a Saturn with a sunroof with her brown hair blowing. She's a soft place to land and a good feeling knowing, okay. That actually makes me about tear up, which is kind of ridiculous. I understand. But that's what I wanna be for someone else. Right. The that's, I mean, I think that's who a lot of us are for our children, right? Like a soft place to land. We wanna be there when they need us and a good feeling knowing. Yeah. I mean, I try every day really hard to make the people around me, um, feel good. That's the impression I try to leave on friends, strangers and family all the time. And to have someone else who is important to me, reflect on how I make them feel is that's a big deal. That's like, that's a big deal. That's why that gets me so much, I think. Um, okay. So he, he goes on, she's a warm conversation that I wouldn't miss for nothing. She's a fighter when she's mad and she's a lover when she's loving. Yeah. I mean, I guess in those lyrics, I kind of, I, I feel, I think that's who I am. Right. I go all out, man. I, I, I've always told people, like, I love big. I have a big heart, my feelings run deep. I'm not shallow in my emotions. So it's important to me that whoever I'm with knows that if I'm fighting over something and I'm mad, it's for good reason. And, um, on the opposite end of the spectrum. Yeah. I mean, she's a lover when she's loving, right? Yeah. I mean, go all out on that, on that end, too. Um, to show how much you love someone. So I, yeah, that just speaks to me. So the chorus is she's everything I ever wanted and everything I need. I talk about her. I go on and on and on CU she's everything to me. Okay. That's nice. You know, this is something I think a lot of us as previously married people, uh, and as single people, I don't think it matters. Okay. I'm gonna, I'm gonna retract that. I don't think it matters. I love to be around people who speak highly of their significant others in saying that I've also been through a lot in relationships and understand the ebb and flow and the challenges over the years. And let's be realistic being in a, a long term relationship or marriage is hard and it comes with a lot of struggle. So I, I don't mean like I'm not judgy when my friends have, have a moment with their partner or whatever, but to be around someone who dots on their significant other is pretty freaking awesome. Um, I love that. And I guess that's kind of what I get out of the chorus. Um, you know, they go on and on and on because she's everything, it's just, uh, that's just sweet people. That's just sweet. Okay. The next line, I think I can probably also just, I like it because it reminds me of myself and that sounds egotistical, but here it goes. It won't be, once you hear it, she's a Saturday out on the town and a church girl on Sunday, she's cross around her neck and a cuss word cuz it's Monday mm-hmm<affirmative><laugh>. Yep. Um, that's me. I definitely am very faith filled in my life. And I've talked about my Christianity and all of that many, many, many times on this, um, podcast. And then I drop F bombs in the next, you know, the next couple of minutes and that's me and, uh, pretty unapologetic about that because I am, again, I think that our language and I mean, you listen to me, I enunciate, I, um, use a lot of inflection and the tone of my voice. It all matters to me. Like I I'm very open and free flowing with how I feel. So there's going to be some cussing and there's going to be some brain<laugh> all within the same, you know, few minutes typically. Okay. Moving on. She's a bubble bath and candles baby coming, kiss me. She's a one glass of wine and she's feeling kind of tipsy. I mean, bubble bass are my favorite<laugh> I used to have it like seriously on my, on my Bumble profile. I'm like, uh, my favorite things are fancy cheese dogs, hiking and bubble bass. Oh. And chocolate milk. And I really like champagne. Yeah. For real, like, um, those things just bring about, it's kind of like when you talk, I don't know. You talk about like walking into your grandma's house and like smelling cookies in the oven. Like when I listen to lyrics about bubble bass and glasses of wine, I'm like, yep. Sign me up, sign me up. I wouldn't mind being in a tub and having a guy come over and kiss me. I was married the last time that happened.<laugh> so it's been, it's been a minute people since I've been intimate like that. Um, so yeah, that just, it just feels good to think about those things. Again, sometimes I think listening to these types of romantic songs, um, just kind of remind me of what I can't wait for. Like I can't wait to have all of that. Like that sounds pretty great. So the lyrics go on to say, she's the giver I wish I could be. And the Steeler of the covers, she's a picture in my wallet of my unborn children's mother. That's just sweet. And I love how it kind of goes back and forth with like how we typically talk about people. It's like something like complimentary she's the giver I wish I could be. And then he is like, but she steals the freaking blankets.<laugh> right. Like, but he still loves her. Like that's, um, that's kind of like the crux of a relationship, right? Like you love the deep, intrinsic important values of someone and then they drive you nuts because they leave toothpaste in the sink. I mean, that's just, that's what I like about these country songs. They're just very simple. And at the end of the day, I think love should be simple. She's the hand that I'm holding when I'm on my knees and praying, she's the answer to my prayer. And she's the song that I'm playing. Well, that's nice.<laugh> um, I, I look hard for men that I think say prayers in general and would hold my hand while doing so, I mean, heart melt that hasn't happened yet. Maybe one day, thankfully I have some girlfriends that are that way. Um, so that's sweet and then the chorus again. Right. So cute. Um, at the end it says, she's the voice I love to hear someday when I'm 90. She's that wooden rocking chair. I want rocking right beside me. Hmm. Yeah. I seriously just posted on my Instagram story.<laugh> I reposted it was like a wine for wine or it was like something stupid, but it was so cute. It was this old couple, like, like in their eighties and they both had matching t-shirts on. And the, the husband's t-shirt says his t-shirt says she's my sweet potato. And her t-shirt says I am<laugh>. And I'm like, oh yeah. I mean, come on. Like, it's not, I mean, I'm 44. It's not, I'm not too late to grow old with someone. I mean, I, I don't, I, I don't think I'll ever call it too late. I mean, I hope not. I hope not. Um, but I've talked about that a lot, you know, at this stage in life, like thinking about growing old alone versus growing old with someone, I mean, I know I'm capable. I know I have other people in my life. Like hopefully my daughter<laugh> and, and some friends and I mean, hopefully I outlive my parents and my brother, who's just a couple years older than me, but I think I have people around me that would help care for me or look after me or be there for me if I need them when I'm 90, but would I prefer to have like a life partner? Um, yeah, I would, if I'm being real and I'm trying to be, so every day that passes, I only love her more. Yeah. She's the one that I'd lay down my own life for. Hmm. Yeah. That's real love people. Would you throw yourself in front of a train? I mean, simple, simple lyrics, but they do something for me. I hope that, you know, maybe I made you laugh a couple times, but maybe I made you think too about how you feel and what you are looking for. Maybe you want something totally different. Maybe you want a thrill and excitement and sexiness, and this song is not that, um, I could, I could, and maybe I will do more podcast episodes because boy do a lot of, I do have some<laugh> some songs that, that I go to for the, the sexy moods. And then I have songs that, um, a lot of Taylor swift actually that, uh, I don't care if she wrote it when she was 17 or 14 or 22. Uh, she has a way of like defining the human existence as a songwriter. That makes a whole lot of sense to me. And, um, I'm not ashamed of that either. So I'm gonna keep going with the country songs for now. But as I'm talking through this, I, I think we've got more material going forward and I wanna hear yours too pretty, please. This next song made the cut simply because of some experiences I've had, like in the last few months, I don't know who Billy Karrington is or any of his other music, but in 2019, he came out with a song called details and it's on Laney's playlist. And it, uh, just shockingly resembles this guy that I had a thing for not that long ago. So it starts off the lyrics do by saying, I couldn't tell you what I did today or the day before. I couldn't tell you what song just played or the guy's name that lives next door, a hundred dollars bills could be fallen from the sky. Wouldn't even notice, but baby I'm in tune with everything you do, I'm completely focused. So this song is all about how this guy recognizes every single detail in the girl that he loves when I was analyzing the song before she's everything. One of the big highlights of that was just the fact that he seemed to love and understand and appreciate all of these qualities in his wife. And then in this song, it's more about noticing and pain attention to all of those qualities. And there's a big difference. So in a recent relationship that I had, I felt noticed, I felt like he was paying attention. I felt adored, but at the end of the day, I didn't feel understood. So there's, um, you know, there's the surface level of paying attention to likes dislikes, um, interests, preferences, all of that. And then there's the deeper level of understanding and, and also balancing your understanding with their flaws or shortcomings. So I'll circle back, but I'm gonna keep, I'm gonna keep going for now. The lyrics continue on every 5, 7, 3 eights inches of you, baby, how the salt and the air makes your hair kind of wavy how your tongue tied when you mix wine with a Gemini baby eye memorized every brown sugar, freckle that the Lord put on you, how you lean to the left 45 degrees right before you're gonna kiss me. If you can't tell, I've been paying close attention to your details. Okay, well, that's cute. 5, 7, 3, 8 inches. I mean, I've got five foot, one, three quarters inches on me. And I mean, I think sometimes some guy gonna be like, that's perfect. Right?<laugh> I'm kidding. But I mean, again, it's just sweetness. I, I, I love the, you know, the salt in the hair makes salt in the air, makes your hair wavy and you know, you drink a little wine and you get tongue tied. And I think the most adorable, uh, part of that little verse was the brown sugar freckles that the Lord put on you. I mean, I feel like my generation put on a lot of heavy foundation and concealer to cover up those sorts of freckles, that or skin variations that we felt like were flawed. And I think I'm very pleased to say that I feel like Laney's generation, they don't do that. Mm-hmm a lot less lot less of that going on and a lot more realism for the most part, which is lovely. Um, I definitely would like to be appreciated for, uh, things like, you know, freckles and little things about myself that could be viewed as flaws. Um, but maybe just loved because they're part of me. I think that's a cute, nice, decent way to take those lyrics. Right? The lyrics, go on to say iced mocha latte, one shot espresso that you stir with your left hand. This is kind of funny because<laugh>, I was seriously at the airport with Laney recently and I got a call from a guy that I was seeing. And I was like, let me call you right back because I'm ordering a Starbucks here, hang on a second. So I call him back and he's like, what did you order? No clue what I actually told him that day, but something I frequently order, would've been a chocolate almond milk, shaken espresso, who knows. So I said, whatever I ordered and he's like, oh, okay. Is that what you normally get? And I'm like, oh my gosh, it's so stupid. How much I order coffee drinks? Because I, I take them to doctor's offices often as treats for them. I fuel up all the time on coffee. And so I mix it up. I order hot, I order iced. I order all sorts of different stuff. And I could hear like, his wheels like spinning on the other end. Like he's taking note of this. And then he said it out loud. Oh, well, I'm just trying to pay attention. And I thought it was really endearing. Like I felt like that's really cute. Like if he wants to know what I order, so that if he were to bring me a coffee one day, he would get something that I liked. That's considerate. That's thoughtful. I love that. But at, at a different time or two, he kind of made a joke that sometimes he keeps those notes, like on his phone. I'm like, okay, like in and of itself, I mean, come on, we're all human. I can't remember all, all of those details either buddy. Right? Like I, I get it. Um, but it felt more superficial and less meaningful when it sounded like he was in the habit of paying attention to details. So I know one time he was getting ready to go somewhere and I think he was considering shopping for me. So he was like, what size shoe are you wear? What's what size clothes? What, what, what, you know? And I'm, I'm like I told him a couple, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna put that in a note. And then it was like, I mean, again, it's cute. It's nice to be thought of. It's nice. It, all of that very sweet. However, like don't tell me,<laugh> like, don't tell me that this is like, what you do. Like when you're dating someone, you keep like a spreadsheet of preferences, sizes, taste, and food and, and clothes and, you know, whatever, because then it kinda loses its its impact. It's it again, it feels more contrived and less authentic. And I, I had a couple conversations with this guy, whenever things ended between the two of us, I was like, you know, I, I'm not like stupid. Like<laugh>, we've both been married before we've dated. Like, I don't think I'm I'm your first or the best or the most special or the one that you love the most or whatever. Like none of that matters. But how about just don't make me feel like one of many I don't wanna be compared, right? Like I wanna be made to feel special. And so these lyrics from this song details, remind me of this person, but maybe not in the, in the most adoring way. I think at the beginning of, of seeing this guy, it definitely felt very, very special. And then over the course of time it felt less authentic. So I, I suppose when I hear this, what's his name again? Billy, Corrington singing this song. I'm like, Hey, I mean, I like to think that this is the only girl that he's got all these details on, or maybe like there's only one note on his phone and it's just, it's just her details. Right? As I look through this playlist of Laney's that she made, she just simply has, uh, five hearts below it and a photo of her and her boyfriend it's doesn't even have a title, but there's a song by the Zack brown band. It's called whatever it is. And it just has a good vibe to it. Um, again, it's, you know, a guy singing about a girl and the way that she makes him feel. So the lyrics start off with, she got eyes that cut you like a knife and lips that tastes like sweet red wine and pretty legs go to heaven. Every time she's got a gentle way that puts me at ease. When she walks in the room, I can hardly breathe, gotta devastate and smile, knock a grown man to his knees. The chorus is, she got whatever it is. It blows me away. She's everything I wanna say to a woman, but I couldn't find the words to say she got whatever it is. I don't know what to do. Cuz every time I try to tell her how I feel, it comes out. I love you. And you know, I think when I listen to this song, what I like is that it makes you feel like, or makes me feel like, uh, what it feels like to fall in love. Like it's that giddy excitement. Like I can't even explain it. There's just fireworks. And that to my friends is like the best feeling in the world. And so the song isn't deep, again, like it's not super sentimental. It just is like that inexplicable feeling. So it goes on to say, you know, I've never been the type that would ever wanna stay, bring'em home at night and they're gone the next day. But that all changed when she walked into my life and people asking why it is tell'em, I don't know. There's just something about the woman makes my heart go haywire. She's gonna be my wife. Another part of the chorus says cuz when she loves me girl, that's how I feel. Cuz when she loves me, I'm on top of the world. Cuz when she loves me, no I can live forever. And when she loves me, I am untouchable. So it's like this crazy force, you know, came to this Playboy kind of guy and everything in his life changed because he fell in love. Like he's not gonna, he's not gonna wander anymore. He's committed. He can't imagine life without this woman because she got something special. You know, it's crazy. I went to, um, I went to an event one time and I met this guy and there was some kind of sparks between us. And after I talked to him for a little bit, I discovered he was married and had kids. They just weren't there that day. And at this event that we were at, um, we were with a bunch of mutual friends. I had never met him before. I didn't know anything about him and the same for me. And we, we were with a bunch of mutual friends in a big group. And he, there was just some like magnetic pole that he kept ending up, like near me talking to me, asking me questions. And his face was just all animated and lit up and just smiling ear to ear. And I definitely noticed, and he was not trying to hide it at all. And a couple of times he was like, you're something special. He's like, I don't know what it is about you, but holy. He's like, I, I just want to, I just wanna know you. I just wanna be around you. I just wanna hang out with you tonight. I, I just can't get enough of being around you. And I kind of got it because I kind of like felt the same of what I was exposed to, but he was married. Right. So I, you know, I was like, you need, I'm like, what are you doing? You know what I mean? And I'm very Frank in, in conversations like this, I was like, you need to focus on your wife and your family and pull your head out. Like that's the kind of stuff literally I was saying to him that night and um, at the same time, because I have been in these situations and talked to hundreds and hundreds of people who have been in these kinds of situations and talking about separation, divorce, being single, whatever. Like this is not that shocking to me that this guy behaved this way. Um, he was at a low point in his marriage. He gave me just, just like I asked him, I was like, so what, what are you doing? And well, I'm really not happy right now. Well tell me why. So he tells me why, and I'm like, that's. Like that's no reason to not wanna be with your wife. Like that's lane, come on. Like<laugh>. Cause it really was. And now granted, I should be maybe more empathetic than that, but I was also like, uh, rooting for him and his family. Right. Like, um, whereas he was trying to make excuses as to why he could flirt with me. So it's interesting though, because I do think that we come across people in life, like, um, like clearly I've thought about him more than once, right? This dynamic kind of personality. There's some sense of like, what do we call it? Chemical romance. I don't know something that attracts you to somebody. And again, I really do think the older we get the harder it is to find, um, you know, in this case he's married, uh, hands off, like I'm not touching that with a 10 foot pole, but um, it, in regard to like these lyrics, like I do get it, I do get it. Um, and I hope, hope to find it with an legible single person that makes me feel that way, that you just can't breathe when they walk in the room. That's just the kind of feel good stuff that a lot of us are looking for initially. Right. Um, but it's interesting that that's the story now that comes to mind because I feel like I made that guy feel this way and it was, um, completely innocent in conversation amongst groups of people at a rowdy event that that happened. And the only reason I know it happened is because this guy was saying things like this to me. Um, and it's, that's not normal. That was, that was normal. Like in college for a guy to come up. Oh my God, you're so beautiful. Can I buy you a beer? You know, follow over. You say everything. They're thinking that doesn't happen very much. I don't think later in life when we're dating people normally are more guarded and hold their cards a little closer. Um, I think it only happened with this guy because he was in a super vulnerable, bad place. Um, and I was right there and you know, I just did an episode about being in easy target. That's kind of what I was that night. But if I'm feeling a little bit more like a romantic and a little bit more of, um, I, I don't know, like in a, in a more loving kind of way, uh, you know, maybe there maybe there really was something more to it and uh, in, I think we both learned from it, but my intent was to turn him back toward his wife and family. And I think, uh, yeah, he was trying to get me to think in a different light as well. Uh, but nonetheless, these lyrics are kind of powerful and I think it's because it's all about kind of that initial attraction and in this song, ease, going so far as to call it love. I mean, I mean, you know, I guess you can hope for that. There's a whole bunch of Thomas RET on this playlist. Oh my goodness. And he and his wife have been in love since they were like 17 and they have like four babies. Now. I think I went to a concert with Laney and her friend and my mom couple years ago, we're getting ready to go back to see Thomas RET, uh, with Michael and Laney and my mom coming up here in a few weeks actually. And he does a magnificent job of tugging at the heartstrings, especially knowing his like personal story us someday is adorable. Mama's front door. Oh yeah. I mean just like beautiful little love stories that span the course of time. Kind of like, oh, like a classic a Jackson song. Um, remember when, oh, that one brings me to tears pretty much every time, but the last song I'm gonna highlight is a newer song to me. And I discovered it on this, um, playlist of Laney's and it is actually a girl singing this time. So it's a little bit of a different perspective. So the song is it's called the good ones by Gabby Barrett. And this is kind of like, I don't know, an inspirational theme for me. The lyrics start off with, he's a phone call to his parents. He's a Bible by the bed. He's the t-shirt that I'm wearing. He's the song stuck in my head. He's solid. And he's steady. Like the Allegheny runs, he knows just where he's going. And he's proud of where he's from. One of the good ones. He's one of the good ones. So yeah, I mean, we can hope for sexy and tall and funny and successful and all of these other checklist items and a good dad and blah, blah, blah, nice home. And maybe he's a dog lover, all of these things, but at the end of the day, like solid, steady, good relationship with this parrots. Yeah. I mean, I'll take all that too. Like just, it's the simple part, right? Like that's what I love about these country songs. Can I say it again? They're just simple. The chorus totally gets me. Okay. So it's a love me. Like he should one, like he wrote the book one, the kind you find when you don't even look, one, anybody can be good once, but he's good all the time. He's one of the good ones and he's all mine. He's one of the good ones. So it's really easy after years of online dating and getting set up and being alone to get discouraged. And it's very hard sometimes to see our, like in my case, like my male friends guys, I went to high school and college with guys that I once dated. They're in, you know, they're married, they're in relationships, they're committed. Um, and then it feels like the guys who are single, not so much, they're, they're maybe not the good ones. They're harder to find. They're like a needle in a haystack. I mean, I talk to single men and women all the time and there's plenty of dateable fuckable have a good time with kind of people out there. Uh, but to find someone like Gabby is describing, uh, sounds like an uphill battle a lot of the time. So that might be why I really like part of this, like chorus toward the end of the song she sings. We should all find us one they're out there minus one. Some of the good ones. Yeah. I got a good one. And again, for me, like, I mean, that could be looked at, um, again is like, um, frustrating, right?<laugh> like, yep. They're out there minus one. Uh, but also in a really hopeful way, there are good people out there. I consider myself a good person. I consider so many of my single friends to be really good people with so much to give so much to offer so much love to, to share with someone else. So I love this song for that reason. I think it's one of the hopeful ones that there are good people out there. And it's also serves again, kind of as a reminder to my myself that, yeah, I mean, I can have fun. I can live it up. I can have a good time with just about anybody. Let's be real<laugh> but I'm looking for something much, much harder to find something, um, much deeper, more thoughtful, more meaningful, uh, to share love with. And I think this is a pretty hopeful song. So if you're interested in getting inspired, like I was by this playlist,<laugh> hit me up. I'll share it with you. There are a lot of very good country songs on it. I mean, we've got speechless with Dan and Shay. We've got, um, from the ground up also Dan and Shay happens like that. Grander Smith forever to go chase rice. I mean so many good ones. You guys, um, they just hit in a different way, especially maybe if you're like me and haven't listened to a lot of country music, simple lyrics, simple themes, big impact. Yeah. So I hope that maybe, um, maybe this has made you think a little bit about how you make people feel, um, how you want to be viewed admired thought of loved one day. Um, I hope so. It's been fun for me and up next, Ooh, look out something we all know so much about I'm gonna do, um, an episode for episode 55, all about red flags, what to watch for when we're out there in the dating world, uh, it will be promptly followed up by green flags.<laugh> spoiler alert to balance that out with, uh, all the good things that we should expect and be watching for and to do ourselves. Of course, of course we need to be, um, yeah, like considerative of how we're treating others out there too. So anyway, we're all learning over here and I just appreciate each and every one of you so much for listening and please do consider sharing the podcast with a friend. That's how podcasts grow. And I just thank you for that. So very much.